Siddhant Mahajan, Human Design Educator
(Learner, Reader, Actor, Craftsman, Chartered Accountant and Leader)

Since the time I became conscious of myself, for some innate reason, I felt blessed. I didn’t
know why I felt so, but I truly felt. I felt the whole world belongs to me and I belong to the whole
world. I distinctly remember this as the earliest experience of myself.

My parents and my older brother who showered their love and care made it feel like I was in the
perfect place, my home. Everything belonged to me including those that my brother discarded.
Little did I realise, I was doled out the old and he was given the new. In this realisation, love,
care and the perfect place of my home which was so innate moved to the surface and the
feeling of betrayal, unloved, hurt and anger was being built underneath. This duality began to
create the manipulator, an art which I mastered in due course.

Having mastered the art of manipulation, it was automatic to be recognised as intelligent,
knowledgeable, mature and responsible. I had learnt the art of survival in this world. I was now
loved by my teachers, wanted by my friends and respected by many due to my achievements in
both academics and extra curricular activities. I was the hero of Montfort School, Roorkee,
Uttarakhand wanted by all, while I needed none. I was on my own.

I was uprooted from the comfort of my world in Montfort School to the dangers of Army Public
School, Dhaula Kuan, as my father who was in the army got posted to Delhi. This school was so
big that it was intimidating and I felt scared. I was thrown into the hands of the perils of this large
world and once again, on my own, I had to learn to survive. I took recourse to intelligence, and
with the gift of manipulation, step by step, restored the power, grandeur and heroism within me
in this new world. The heroes always win, never fail. I began to fear failure lest I lose my
heroism. I could now not fail, and that was the only thing I kept telling myself and kept listening
to the same.

As most heroes I knew then, often experienced being alone, I too experienced the same as I
held onto being the hero in my world. The hero could not give up Chartered Accountancy
midway to pursue his call for acting and stayed on course to complete it in the first attempt. A
hero once again, alone all the time.

I moved to Mumbai in 2013 to pursue my calling to be a hero in movies and so did she, which I
felt was for me. I was her hero, she was mine. Together we began to build a dream all on our
own. This was it. My life, my career, my woman. I had found it all. I was living a dream which
within the next few years began to crumble, piece by piece. I lost her. I didn't know where my
career was going and where my life was. The hero, the resilient, the intelligent, the mature, the
responsible, the respected was all under question. What seemed to remain was just the
manipulator at large, me manipulating myself. That’s who I had now become, refusing to
acknowledge my self doubt.

In 2018, I met her. She is called Deveeka, but for me she is real, she is love, she is my mirror.
She awakened me to my own fears, my resentments, my self doubt and restored within me the
glimpse of my own blessedness which I had experienced as a child and forgotten as I grew up.
Now I was disturbed and yet wouldn’t want to let go of her for she was real. In that experience I
began to accept myself with a certain awareness. I had begun to confront myself and in doing
so, fell in love with her forever. As Absurd as it may seem, it was real. 2018 you will forever be
remembered.

Time doesn’t stop in 2018, it’s followed by 2019 and in that year I encountered two distinct
human beings who I, without my conscious knowledge, chose rather inadvertently to be my
mentors. Ms. Daminee Benny Basu, my acting teacher who introduced me to the ‘Eric Morris
Acting System’ and the Being state, Mr. Victor Manickam (with whom my relationship remains
undefined) through whom I was educated in the ‘Program for Life’ where I discovered love,
innocence, surrender and forgiveness within myself. I made the journey of forgiveness to
Gratitude for the three pillars in my life, my papa, my mumma and my bhai. I love you so much.
I began to feel myself now as real after a long time. I wanted to live the real, but the manipulator
being so well accepted all around, the real was rejected. In this duality existed my turmoil within
and my disgust on the outside.

On the evening of 6th June 2021, as I found myself being certified a Human Design Educator, I
stood there discovering the teacher within me who had learnt through life to restore the belief
that I AM. Nothing of the past remains the same for the believer sees it anew and there is
nothing for the manipulator to perceive.

It's all within me, the betrayed, the blessed, the villain, the hero, the unloved, the loved, the
rejected, the accepted, the irresponsible, the responsible, the know it all, the learner, the
resistance, the surrender, the anguish, the compassion. It's all in me, there is nothing outside for
I am The Universe.