Naman Bhanushali
Senior Officer For Accountability, Victor Manickam Knowledge Group
Human Design Educator (Professional)


Naughty, boisterous, funny, expressive, mischievous, energetic, jubilant, extrovert were words that would best resonate with the experiences of me being a child. In short, my childhood was a life of being free just as I was born - FREE. A constant in my childhood was me being the incorrigible prankster in the life of my sister Zeal who though elder to me by 2 years often succumbed to my pranks, tantrums and mischiefs. Little did I realise that she was not succumbing but was the only person who accepted me for who I really am. This way of being free had me live throughout my childhood until I entered my teens. In my teens, I began to see myself as different from the rest which made me question, ‘Who am I?.’ While I was disturbed, concerned and worried in seeing myself different from the rest in more ways than one, for some reason, the most default behaviours of rebellion and anger never seemed to arise within me. I kept seeing rebellion and anger amongst many who found themselves to be different but it never seemed to arise within me. I began to wonder 'Who really am I?'. Even this seemed so different.

To cope with this difference, I started adopting ways of being nice, polite, genuine, sophisticated, well-mannered, well-behaved, caring and loving so that I could merge myself into being accepted into the world that existed around me. I was right. The world took to me as a fish takes to water. I smiled and I was relieved. My tactic had worked. I would now cope with ease amongst the differences that existed in the world. While having endeared myself to the world around me and the people in it through a myriad of my talents like singing, social work, designing. I made many friends and leadership began to occur in that realm pretty automatically. Walking through school, college and graduation, I began to be associated with institutions like AIESEC, my father’s business, various singing clubs and much more. I was now living a life most adults would dream of - sound leadership, abundant exposure, multiple circles of friends and each of them large, endeared to many, accepted and wanted by the very same many and yet the question stayed ‘Who really now am I?’

In this state of inquiry of Who am I, I began to observe that while externally I was loved and connected with so many, deep down a sense of being alone began to creep and grow, leaving me in a continued parallel state of questioning ‘Who really is this construct that I see myself as?’. I am grateful that I had this question for when I heard through a friend of mine Anuj Sethi, that there is this program PFL which discovers for you who you are, it was natural for me to walk into it without a shred of doubt. A program of 30 sessions which I completed at my own pace, in a year and a half. While it might look as if I was in and out of the program, actually it never left me. I began to experience, through the program, who I really am. While the question stayed, the restlessness, disturbances and worry began to recede. The inquiry now began to create a sense of freedom within me. The coping mechanism of being nice, polite, genuine, sophisticated, well-mannered, well-behaved, caring and loving didn’t seem like something I needed to hold on to. I could be myself - FREE.

Little did I know when I was chosen to participate in the succession batch of the fellowship batch on the 4th June 2021, that I was embarking on a commitment to be the truest version of myself. In those three days, the intensity of the question arose and with equal measure, the depth with which the answers were found enabled me to resonate with the true self that I was. With the power to declare that I exist with Infinite Possibilities, each and every one of the differences, each and every of the suppression, each and every one of the resentments, each and everything that I wanted to hide deep within my self were now the grand storehouses to access infinite possibilities. At that moment, instead of asking the question ‘Who am I’?, I took a stand to be that answer for those who had that question. A thought crossed my mind, Zeal, you were the first who accepted me as Who I really am and I source my gratitude in your acceptance. To my parents, a deep sense of love, fulfilment and acceptance that I could’ve had nothing better than being born to the two of you. And to the rest of the world, I am the answer to the question, for I am being me.